Back in the USA (the states)

Well I'm back home and I think I grew up a little while I was away. I did things that i would never do at home. I was free. I had a freedom that I never had before. And I loved it. Now some things i did could have been dangerous and some not so dangerous. I fell hard and fell fast. But then again I came home and the love was gone. But I'm afraid it was gone the day i left the town. Well one of the towns. I had my adventures. I finally was able to cry. And when i got back i realized that that i had lots of tears that needed to get out.

I'm Leaving tomorrow!!!

Everyone wish me luck. I'm leaving tomorrow and I'm arriving in Greece on Saturday morning. YEY! I'm excited! well there's not much more to say. My mom and I are getting along again. So thats good. and ya. TTYS!

-Me

Great, Just Great.

She says i always turn things around. I was argueing with her again and somehow i brought up my report card and how it was the best grades i've gotten in years, and that i was disapointed that she didn't even say she was proud of me. She never says that or that she loves me. It's almost like those words aren't even in her vocabulary. I hate this s**t. Then she said that ofcourse i ment what i said. And i did mean it but i didn't mean to say it right then. And ofcourse she showed how hurt she was. And she said something about having a daughter. I know it sounds all about me. And that's the way she always makes seem. That i never think about others. And she always brings that up. She doesn't see me enough to know me anymore. I'm always working at night so when she gets home i need to go. I work on Sat.s at my other job. and then I'm asleep most of the time and then she's asleep early. I hate how she automatically assumes that i'm not careing or sensitive, or anything good. She doesn't see me with my friends. She doesn't know how i'm always there if someone needs to talk. I hate this.

Now she saw me on the Computer when i'm supposed to be cleaning. Funk!!!!!

I HATE THIS! i can't wait till i ca get away.

I Don't Get It...

RAWR!!!!!!!

I don't get what pressure my mom has. I'm the one that has to clean her entire room so her mother can go in and clean the litter box, I have to take a 10 hr flight across an ocean at the end of the week by myself, I need to return books to the library, go to therapy, get catfood, call a school so that i can get reregistered. And i have to deal with my dad for 17 days which lets face it, it's not the easiest thing for me to do. (we don't get along. at all.) Oh and i need to leave my cat alone for 17days, and thats the longest he's been without me. So i'm worried about that. And my stomach aches are coming back. So i have to deal with that pain and when i'm stressed like right now i get head aches. So RAWR!!!!

My mom is on vacation all week. So all that she needs to do is worry about bringing me where i need to go and making sure i'm ready for the trip. Also then she needs to worry about feeding the cat, which she's done before, and coming in my room to clean out the litter box. Now i know that's not the easiest thing in the world, but please suck it up. That's why i'm cleaning out my entire room. To Make it EASIER for You!!!!! (well for her) (sorry im getting out frustration)

I'm sure shes worring about me flying, but i've done it before, Lots of times before and there's no reason to be nervous. I wont be nervous till the last second. Honestly i dont think i'm going to be nervous at all.

Ouch. My stomach hurts. Thanks for letting me vent.

-Me

Rawr...

Okay how come when your a teenager your never ready to go to sleep when your parents want you to? Seriously i can't fall asleep when my mom does.

Oh and we don't wake up as early either.

You think i just answered my own question?

Oh and if you havent read or commented my story (the romantic one) please do. I'd like to hear feed back.

Thanks a bunch

-Me

Michael Jackson's Death

Okay well... I was reading on Popeater.com that the Reverend Jesse Jackson says that the family thinks Michael's doctor knows more than he's telling about his death. Also there is going to be a second examination. Police are also going to talk to him. While the doctor was there when Michael health "took a turn for the worse".

I was never a fan of the person. But i liked his music.

And i think it was his fathers fault he turned out the way he did.

FINALS!!

FINALS ARE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where are the Baby Seagulls?

Have you ever seem baby seagulls? Seriously. Where are they?

I never even thought about seagulls being born they were just there. You know the birds you see flying around a McDonald's or sometimes at the beach.

Well i saw them on sunday. They are the cutest thing ever. But their placement was strange. Downtown demolished a building so the lot was vacant with weeds growing with big leaves and random sprouts of grass. And there they all were. Adults were just laying there. And all different size babies were walking around. Playing with some garbage they found. The littlest ones i saw were 3 siblings all sleeping under a large leaf of a weed. One couldn't find a spot so it kept waking up and walking around to another side. Finally it went to sleep on one of the other babies.

This same one tried to itch its ear with it's foot and he slid down. He must have done this 3 times. Another one was bigger and was trying to fly to follow its siblings and mother (what i assumed was its mother) It hopped up and down and flapped it's wings. well the outline of wings. All of them were just puff balls. The older ones only had less 'puff.'

Sorry Would Have Provided PICTURES but i couldnt get them on the page. TEARS!!!

In School...

So I'm in school at the moment waiting for the bus to get here. Nothing to do so I figured I would write. Finals have been a pain and work is normal. One of my teachers won't give me a break, but what else is new?
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
And guess what... I"M GOING TO GREECE!!!
I have some family and friends there. and I can't wait to go. Although I can't bring Tigger. tears...
But i'll talk to him over the phone when I call home.
ttyl

Books I want to read... aka. A reminder to me.

Since I have a very bad memory this is a list of Books I would like to read. If you think there are any more that I should add to the list leave a comment and I'll check it later.

-Geisha: A Unique World of Tradition, Elegance, and Art ... By John Gallagher

-Geisha, A Life ... By Mineko Iwasaki

-Geisha of Gion: The Memior of Mineko Iwasaki ... By Mineko Iwasaki and Rande Brown

-Autobiography of A Geisha ... By Sayo Masuda

-Madame Sadayakko: The Geisha Who Bewitched the West ... By Lesley Downer

-Women of the Peasure Quarters: The Secret History of the Geisha ... By Lesley Downer

-Geisha: the Life, the Voices, the Art ... By Jodi Cobb

-Geisha ... By Kyoko Aihara

-A Geisha's Journey: My Life as a Kyoto Apprentice ... By Komomo

-Geisha ... By Liza Dalby

-Kimono ... By Liza Dalby

-Geisha: The Secret History of a Vanishing World ... By Lesley Downer

-The Last Concubine ... By Lesley Downer

-Rivalry: A Geisha's Tale ... By Nagai Kafu

-The Embers of Heaven ... By Alma Alexander

-The Secrets of Jin-Shei ... By Alma Alexander

(Can you tell that I like learning about this?)

Would You Ever?

Would you ever...

-Text someone pretending your someone else to get information?

-Believe that Gays should have equal marrige rights as Straights?

- Sleep with One guy one night and another the next morning?

- Go to the bathroom to find that a condom was still inside you?

- Make a doctor feel uncomfortable talking about sex?

- Think of steeling krutches if they left you in a doctor's office for too long at the ER or

Walk-In?

- Go to the bathroom right before not knowing the doc wanted you to pee in a cup?

- Find relationships completely hard so vow to be gay?

- Steel a phone to text (but only if they had unlimited and you couldn't text otherwise)?

- Sneek an animal into your house or apartment building only to tell?

- Pick up a random snake in front of your door?

I'll Have more of "Would You Ever..." Later for now feel free to answer. I'm curious.

So Tigger was Asleep.

So the kitty was asleep while i was writing that other blog tonight. Which is roughly based on true events. And i would like to know what you think of the writing, so please leave comments, But now he is laying next to me, hitting me with his tail.

Very interesting cat. The only time he's near me is at night or when he want's to eat. You think i'm being used. Hmmmm...

The Thing That is Driving Me Crazy

The thing is, she longed for him in everyway possible. She longed for his skin against hers, the roughness of his hands against her body. She wanted him to kiss her gently and passionately. She wanted to trace the outline of his face with her fingertips. Will all of this longing came sadness. A type of lonelieness she had never known. He had a girl. One that was always with him. One that bickered with him and you could tell that they drove each other crazy. She knew she could never have him. That she would never be his. Eventually she lost hope. They would never be together, but one thing you must remember is to never say 'never'.

Early one morning he did have her. And she took him with a passion and sentuallity that he had never known. They lied there as his lover laid with another. You could tell that their relationship was complicated. He was holding onto her as his girl was holding onto another. His hands were wrapped around her, rubbing her arms to keep her warm from the cool night air. The plan was to stay up all night and that's exactly what most of them did. Some ended up falling asleep earlier than others, but only two of them went without a whole night of sleep. And that was them.

She lied on his bed, under his covers getting warm for most of the early morning. And she was right next to her holding on. She watched him start to rest his eyes and when his girl came in she tried not to watch him give her a massage. He gave her the best message that she had ever had earlier that night and she thought it wasn't her place to watch him give one to another girl. So she turned over trying not to pay attention to the moaning of pleasure that sometimes left the girl's mouth.

Every so often she would hear something move, and she thought everytime that he was coming back under the covers to hold onto her. However he wasn't. He just moved to reposition himself so that he could reach the girl's lower back because that's where she was hurting.

When he was finally done he went back to her. He lied down next to her, stretching out his arm for her to lay on. It had been a while sinse she felt so comfortable with a man.

He had both of then on his chest. Just lieing there relaxing. That's when his girl started to sleep and they were the only people, as it felt, in the room.

The girl watched his eyes start to close as if a shade was being drawn to close out the light from coming in a window. And she couldn't help herself from running her finger over his face. She traced the outline of his brown eyes and over the bridge of his nose. She softly touched his lips, outlining their shape.

Her face was very close to his and somehow he kissed her quietly on her forhead. When he did this she felt a rush. She wanted to bury her face in his chest and kiss him deeply. When she looked at him she saw how serene he looked. She knew that beneth his rough exterier he could be gentle. She touched mouth again and saw him move his lips against her finger.

She looked at him wanting to stare in his eyes. She could feel her longing rising to the surface. She wanted him to kiss her with all of his might. He opened his eyes and looked right at her. And soon enough he leaned even closer to kiss her. It was the lightest and quietest kiss that she had ever felt. But it was also the best. She kissed him back. Over and over again. She couldn't get enough of them. This was all she could think of. Until she felt something lower against her body. and she knew she had set off an alarm in his. She liked to know with guys what exactly turned there blood. And she had just found his. Biting.

She liked to gently bite her lover's lip or ear. And when things got heated his chest. It was something she did. It came naturally to her. And when she bit his lip for the first time she felt his body quiver. And this dramatically turned her on even more. She smiled at him and then bit his ear. At this she got the same reaction.

"Am I turning you on?" she asked. Even though she already knew the answer.

" Reach down and tell me what you think." He answered.

She did as he said and she could tell that he was even more than she thought. She loved the power of being a woman and having the ability to make people happy.

The Cat Sleeps

So I look behind the computer screen and see him sleeping. Well I think he sleeps. I'm not quite sure. Mainly because he stretches and squeeks. Who knows, hehe.